Moon Exhausted After Highly Publicized Performance

Outer Space – Last night was a big one for the Moon. The whole world tuned in as the massive rock completed the impressive act of a superblood lunar eclipse. I was lucky enough to catch up with the gigantic … Continue reading

Area Man Announces He Will Not Be Running For President In 2016

Souix Falls, SD – It’s official. Area man Dan Jackson has made the announcement that he will not be running for the position of President of the United States in the 2016 election. A run-of-the-mill plumber, Jackson felt the need to … Continue reading

Five Reasons Why My Value is Equivalent to That of a Tagless Beanie Baby

The Onion recently had a competition to “Show us you’re nothing by sharing your boring, meaningless story on why you, and you alone, are the half-witted, filth-encrusted cretin most deserving of our disdain” in a 300 word essay. If chosen, … Continue reading

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Foundational Firsts: Smooch Tale

I would like to start this post by stating, once again, a heartfelt “sorry” for taking such a long absence. I was too busy being young and lively and not having access to a laptop while gallivanting around the world. … Continue reading