A modest otter.

Cambridge, MA – A scientist at a local university has made a breakthrough discovery that potentially will change some lives somewhere in some way or another. “Based on my research, I have been able to determine that sea otters are actually the cutest known animal on the entire face of the planet,” states Dr. James H. Baxter, renowned researcher and author of the book “Hawaiian Pizza Is The Best Pizza, I Don’t Care What You Think.” Baxter went on to tell us that he based his conclusion on extensive time spent watching YouTube videos of cute animals, unexpected animal friends, as well as the twitter user @cuteemergency. “I found myself going back to the otter videos over and over, specifically the ones of them sleeping. Did you know they hold hands while asleep? Too darn cute,” squeals the ecstatic researcher, who has clocked in twenty trips to the zoo in the past three weeks to go stare at the furry and “oh-so-wiggly” critters. Since he has made this announcement, Baxter has received many angry letters contesting the results of his study, stating that other animals are cuter than sea otters. Popular arguments include fauna such as puppies, red pandas, and bunnies. What does Dr. Baxter have to say to these dissenters? “They ‘otter’ know better than to battle my conclusions. I ‘sea’ no change in my outcomes in the near future,” he snickers, clearly pleased with himself.