Jackson doing a mediocre job.

Souix Falls, SD – It’s official. Area man Dan Jackson has made the announcement that he will not be running for the position of President of the United States in the 2016 election. A run-of-the-mill plumber, Jackson felt the need to let the general public know that he has absolutely no interest in becoming President and never really has. “Some of my friends have been asking me about my plans for the upcoming years, so I wanted to let them know that whatever my future holds, being President is not one of them,” states Jackson, who was once on student council and has really no opinion on the experience. “I never really considered Dan the type to aspire to conquer the political world, so I guess that explains why he just really doesn’t want to and most likely never will,” explains Jackson’s wife, Denise. His short speech did include some future plans, which include fixing his “damn fence that always seems to be broken” and maybe even learning to crochet.