My Genetic Flaws

Nobody’s perfect, Hannah Montana said it herself. We all have flaws that we identify and recognize in ourselves. Some choose to take action and attempt to counteract these personal blemishes, and I definitely do this. Then there are things about ourselves that are genetic flaws, like the fact that I have three fake teeth in my mouth because for some reason I’m missing loads of them. No, you can’t tell just by looking at me. No, not even if you look really close. This post is dedicated to my other genetic flaws.

 

1. My poor sleeping habits

What even is this.

What even is this.

It is common knowledge that I have an abnormal sleep cycle. Although I do normally manage to participate in the popular waking hours, I am frequently up late and nap during the day. Nap (noun): A period of sleep during the day that can range from 1-5 hours in length. I’ve attempted to adjust it so that I get the doctor recommended 7-8 hours of sleep beginning around eleven or midnight and rising in the early morn ready and willing to greet the day, but it just doesn’t work. If I have a regular work schedule, for example this summer I woke up every day at seven because I worked at eight M-F, I’m totally fine and managed to be in bed at a reasonable hour and wake up. However, when this is not the case, the normal schedule ranges from 2-3 am until maybe 9-10? But then a nap is necessary ranging from the hours of 10:30am-8:30pm. I have tried and tried again to overcome this flaw that is clearly apparent in my life, but am repeatedly unable to do so. Thus, my poor sleeping habits are a genetic flaw.

 

2. My inability to paint nails

PSA: Not done by me. I wish.

PSA: Not done by me. I wish.

Most girls and the average middle school boy who has not only had his hair straightened by his lady friends but also received a manicure, have had their nails painted. Many of us choose to go to CVS and pick out a pretty color and go home and paint them ourselves! I personally own about 50 different shade of pink that my roommate makes fun of me for but whatever, I can tell they’re different so why does she even care. I have been painting nails since maybe the age of five. I’ve been painting my Barbie’s nails since the age of 5 and one day. And I haven’t painted my cats nails, do you really think I’m that weird. However, I’m absolutely horrible at doing so. Although easy in concept, it is difficult in practice. Some may beg to differ, but I’m convinced they have sold their soul for that skill. And thus, because my ability to paint my nails has not improved since the day I turned 5 despite infinite efforts, this is another one of my genetic flaws.

 

3. My love for One Direction

sigh.

sigh.

These British boys first entered my life November of 2011 and there was no turning back. The majority of 1D fans are between the ages of 8 and 16, but there are a few outliers. I am one of them. At times I have attempted to not watch the Kiss You music video instead of studying, but I just can’t say no. My favorite, like many other young ladies and men, is Harry Styles. However, I am a true fan because I liked him before he got all older and stronger and tattooier(?), although I certainly am not complaining. There is a cut out figure of him in my living room, although his legs are broken slightly above the knee and now he more lays there. The other gentlemen are wonderful as well, and if you want a full ranking along with an in depth analysis of why they are ranked in this order, you can contact me and I will gladly indulge you. This one is listed as a genetic flaw mainly because then I don’t need to try to justify my love.

 

4. I don’t like melted cheese.

gag

Gag. Also she totally didn’t paint her nails herself.

I hate melted cheese. Yes, I do like pizza, I just take the cheese off unless it’s had some time to cool off then I’m totally “COOL” with it. No, I don’t like nacho cheese. No, I don’t like grilled cheese. Yes, I do know melted cheese is tOtAlLy ThE bEsT kInD oF cHeEsEeEeEeEe. I don’t like it. I’m sick of answering questions about it. Stop acting so shocked. Oh my gosh, you know someone else who doesn’t like cheese? Interesting. This has been placed in the genetic flaw category because I have answered too many questions about why I don’t like melted cheese, so it’s easier to just say it’s genetic.

 

I hope you have enjoyed reading about some of my genetic flaws. I’d like to remind you that these are not just normal flaws, but flaws that I had absolutely no control over so there is no point in even attempting it. As the artist formally known as Hannah Montana would say, “We can’t stop, and we won’t stop. La da dee da dee. Someone help me.”

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One thought on “My Genetic Flaws

  1. It sounds like you have Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder (DSPD) like me. I’ve never been able to paint mine, nor my friends nails properly… Like that time I accidentally painted my friend’s entire finger a few years ago.

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