Cat Owning 101: Set The Bar Low

At part of my Caturday series, I thought I would also include some tips on owning your own cat. Because I have almost always had some kind of cat in my life since birth and am slowly immersing myself into the cat community, hoping to eventually be welcomed as one of their own, I feel like I am a qualified resource for this topic.

This week’s tip is focused on the fact that if you wish to be a happy cat owner, you have to have zero expectations from them. Cats are extremely independent creatures and they can lick their own butts, thank you very much. You don’t have to bathe them unless your cat somehow rolls in a giant mud puddle. If your cat wants to snuggle with you, it will. If it doesn’t want to, it will not give in no matter how many times you run after it and grab it by the hind legs and hold it as tight as you can without squishing its soul. Not all cats are people cats, and not all cats hide away in the rafters of your basement and exist solely as glowing orbs in the darkness. I’ve only ever owned cool cats, but that’s because I’m cool so I cannot guarantee this for every cat owner.

What you can expect from your cat:

  • Fur on everything, even if you can’t see it.
  • Probably will pee somewhere besides the litter box.
  • Will chase things you cannot see, convincing you that ghosts reside in your house and are actually present right now.
  • Sleeps in middle of the bed and regardless of how many times you move them, they will move back.

I hope you have all enjoyed this week’s Caturday. Remember, as cat people like to say, “The time is meow.”

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